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The Schiensh of Bond: Skyfall

The end is nigh! And through the last 2 years I have learned one thing; I’m not that keen on Bond films. I am, however, a massive Bond nerd. Although I find Le Carre more thoughtful and the Bourne films more coherent, my favourites are Goldeneye, From Russia with LoveCasino Royale and Skyfall.


Also – SPOILERZ!!!


I have, however learned an awful lot of science. I can tell you where to get a jetpack, how to make an invisible car and that a Stradivarius cello sounds no better than a brand new one. I have found the major flaws in Bond villain plans, to the extent I could propose my own. One can only hope that I do not lay my grubby paws on a volcano, a submarine, nerve gas, sharks or DNA splicing technology.

As with Casino Royale, Skyfall loses the lameass gadgets, but it also brings in a geeky new Q.

Were you expecting an exploding pen? We don’t really go in for that any more.

– Q, Skyfall

Q junior is more of a sitting in his pyjamas messing around on a computer genius than his aged predecessor (see also Spooks).

Looking for the Schiensh, I’m going to look past the inadequate security MI6 seem to have in place (after all, the Pentagon got hacked by someone looking for UFOs). Blood seems to be a major theme of Skyfall playing a pretty major role in the credit sequence and as with most Bond films, a lot of people get shot.

Of gunshot wounds and cyanide pills

Bond gets shot twice in the pre-credit sequence, once by Patrice (Ola Rapace) and once by Eve (Naomi Harris). The shot in the shoulder Bond receives from Patrice is indirect; it seems to have been deflected into his shoulder. And for some bizarre reason Patrice uses shells made from depleted uranium, making him VERY EASY TO IDENTIFY. Especially after Bond feels the need to extract the shrapnel from his own shoulder. Bond spends most of the film not being able to shoot straight because of the shoulder wound. Why does this happen? Aside from the blood loss – the wound appears to be fairly peripheral, thus blood loss from this injury doesn’t appear to be important here – the tissues of the shoulder are damaged by the shell. Judging by the location of the scar on Bond’s chest/shoulder area, the bullet hits the pectoralis major muscle. It doesn’t cause enough damage to prevent him fighting Patrice, so I am going to assume that there is no damage to the bones. Untreated damage to the bone may lead to infection, if the bone is improperly set it can heal in the wrong position – this will severely impair mobility of the complicated shoulder joint.


The shoulder consists of three bones, the scapula (shoulderblade), the clavicle (collar bone) and the humerus (top arm bone), and it is actually two joints – there’s the ball and socket joint (glenohumeral joint) that provides mobility and the sternoclavicular joint which provides stability.

When muscle is damaged, immune cells come in and clear up the damage, new cells migrate in and replace the damaged cells. Muscles get damaged all the time and are pretty good at repairing themselves, however, in some circumstances, the immune cells remain at the site of the injury, and the tissue doesn’t heal properly and scar tissue forms. Scar tissue doesn’t have the same characteristics as muscle cells – so the muscle loses some of its function. It is possible that the shrapnel left in the wound may result in a chronic inflammation – this means that immune cells remain in the shoulder and the damaged muscle cells aren’t properly replaced. Given that the shrapnel remained in the shoulder, Bond is lucky not to have had an infection in the tissue as well. According to wikipedia:

High grade partial or full thickness tears warrant surgery if function is to be preserved, particularly in the athletic population

The pectoralis major is responsible for movement of the shoulder, and movement of the arm across the body. When injured, it would affect swimming, lifting, push-ups, bench presses and hanging onto lifts. All in all, Bond is giving his somewhat injured shoulder something of a hammering.

Lets focus is given to the injury Eve gives him when she accidentally shoots him. He takes the shot in the right side of his thorax – this doesn’t seem to have caused any lasting harm. Bond quips to Eve that she caused no more damage that breaking four of his ribs and damaging “some of the less vital organs”. Judging by where the blood is coming from, it appears that Bond has been hit in the ribcage. Given that Bond survived with limited ill-effects, I’m going to assume Bond was hit around four of the lower ribs (this seems to correlate with what we see before the opening credits. It also looks like the bullet missed the right lung as well. What is of concern is that the gunshot wound is quite close to Bond’s liver. However, patients with liver injuries from things like gunshots do not often require surgical treatment; bleeding ceases on its own. And if the bullet doesn’t hit any blood vessels, Bond stands a decent chance of survival.


If you really want to depress yourself, read the wikipedia article on cyanide. Anyhow, cyanide stops cells being able to use oxygen. Given that scientists know what a fatal dose of cyanide is, if it were being issued as a suicide pill by MI6, one would probably make a cyanide pill with a much higher dose than would be required to kill someone. The signs of cyanide poisoning take effect within minutes of ingestion. Because the brain is so dependent on oxygen – a large proportion of the blood pumped out by the heart goes to the brain – the first symptoms include confusion, dizziness, blurred vision. At the same time, the drug is going to severely affect breathing and the heart. The heart will stop beating and blood flow stops. Cyanide poisoning can be treated. My thinking with regards to Silva is either that the cyanide pill contained insufficient cyanide to cause death, or that his captors had him treated for cyanide poinsoning.

Silva, in his conversation with M claims that his hydrogen cyanide pill did not kill him (I’d argue that there has been some minor brain damage as a result of the temporary hypoxia to his brain though), but it seems to have done some serious damage to his internal organs – the MSDS (materials safety data sheet) for hydrogen cyanide does list nausea as an effect of cyanide.

…burned all my insides

– Silva, Skyfall

Although burns aren’t generally noted as effects resulting from cyanide poisoning, what I have been able to dig up are a few cases gastrointestinal effects, including one case of necrosis of the gut – but these seem to be related to solutions of sodium and potassium cyanide. Potassium cyanide solution is also a skin irritant. However, given Silva’s cyanide appears to be in pill form, it seems that a cyanide pill is unlikely to be the cause of Silva’s disfigurement. I can’t see why it would destroy his teeth or cause his cheek to collapse.

Thanks Sam Mendes for making Skyfall worthwhile, I look forward to seeing which way Bond will go. Do we get another Quantum of Solace or will we get another decent film.

Thanks for reading, Schiensh will return.

Follow the Lemur wishes to thank Dr Maskell for his helpful discussions on cyanide.


The Schiensh of Bond: Quantum of Solace

Skyfall is so close I can smell it. My parents booked their tickets last week. MY PARENTS. They usually only book for Harry Potter films. But, on our way to Mendes and QILF we still need to negotiate Quantum of Solace and we had better do it quick before I forget it again.

The problem with QoS is that while it is a serviceable Bond film – it does the join the dots globe-trotting reasonably well and it more or less has a plot – it suffers from not being as good as Casino Royale, and from being utterly humourless. It doesn’t have the stupid of an invisible car, Denise Richards as a nukular physicist, outrageous racism, psychics, space battles, stupid Bond-girl names, jet-packs, gadgets, gizmos, death rays, submarines, or sharks with frickin’ laser beams on their heads. Dominic Greene is no Blofeld, He’s not even a Le Chiffre. In short, it’s not bad enough to be memorable.

Luckily, it looks like there’s some suspect science in there…


Leaving aside the fact that the pile of junk airplane that Bond has managed to acquire for the plane chase would never be able to out-manouevre the pursuing fighter plane, that’s not how you skydive. Here’s what tv tropes has to say on the matter.

We’ll assume that Bond and Camille are at terminal velocity – so somewhere around 120 miles per hour. The parachute is opened about 2 seconds before they hit the ground. It is very unlikely that opening the parachute at this height would slow down Bond and Camille to the point where they wouldn’t be smashed to pieces. Although the deceleration provided by deploying the parachute should (according to wikipedia) slow descent from 120 miles per hour to 18 miles per hour, this isn’t quite instantaneous – it would take a few seconds to slow them down (as you can see from the graph below).


For things like BASE jumping, modifications have to be made to the equipment; BASE jumping is done from lower, land-based altitudes, and a chute must be deployed much more rapidly because the fall is that much shorter and there is less time to slow down to a survivable falling speed.

As has previously been discussed in Schiensh of Bond there are numerous documented cases of unlucky skidivers whose parachutes fail to open. Although people can survive, they seldom survive completely unscathed.


How to make a desert

Dominic Greene’s plans for world domination of Bolivia involve placing a puppet dictator and controlling the water supply. By building dams and creating sink holes, Greene has successfully taken control of 60% of Bolivia’s water supply.

Bolivia is rich in natural resources, including vast amounts of natural gas, and an abundance of minerals. Although the country is rich in natural resources, environmental degradation is leaving the inhabitants in poverty. These threats include deforestation, water pollution occurring as a result of increased industrial mining and natural disasters. The links between environmental degradation are highlighted in this report.

Throughout much of Bolivia, water sources are plentiful, however, in some areas including the mountainous regions, water is becoming more scarce. The real threats to fresh water are principally pollution; there is industrial waste from mining activities, tanning and leather processing, sugar refineries and there issubstantial pesticide run-off from farming.

Creating a desert from tropical rainforest is major factor in the incidence of environmental disasters. Deforestation, either because of logging, clearing of forest for farmland or extraction of minerals, leads to degradation of the soil. Without the trees, topsoil is eroded and is less able to absorb water. It becomes less fertile, but the area becomes much more prone to flooding. This change in the landscape is known as desertification.

Dominic Greene’s plan to hide all the water is somewhat unambitious – he could more successfully create a desert by pushing industrial development in this developing country. Though, I suppose this would not be entirely in keeping with his environmental image.


Why is there a hotel in the middle of the desert?

I have yet to find a convincing argument as to why there is a hotel in the middle of the Bolivian Atacama desert. It’s clearly deserted. No one uses it. Nor can I understand why, in the world’s driest desert, there are such a large number of flammable fuel cells in and around the mostly wooden hotel. Health and Safety clearly is not a thing in Bolivia.

Why would anyone build a hotel in the middle of a desert? Well, the structure used in Quantum of Solace is the Paranal Residencia, a hotel built for workers of the European Southern Observatory, where there is a telescope in the Chilean Atacama desert called the Very Large Telescope. According to a paper on making the Paranal observatory more green, the complex relies entirely on diesel powered generators. The alternatives they were looking at were solar photovoltaic cells and wind power. Not hydrogen cells.

As for the fuel cells apparently powering the hotel in the film – we don’t get much information about them, we do see a container of hydrogen explode. Hydrogen is very flammable. so if there is shooting and stuff going on, it’s going to catch fire. Especially if your building is primarily made of wood…

Right, Mendes. BRING IT.

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The Schiensh of Bond: Die Another Day

We’ve put it off for as long as we could, but it’s August on BlogalongaBond and no longer can we put off the travesty that is Die Another Day. It wasn’t a bad idea in the scheme of Bond films – the plot is nowhere near as bad as that of Moonraker or Thunderball – however, the bad starts pretty early; it never really recovers from the sheer awfulness of the Madonna song. In fact, the theme tune is possibly the only thing about the film worse than the science. I welcome you to Die Another Day: STOP GETTING SCIENCE WRONG

Can you really cross a minefield with a hovercraft

Some googling suggests that yes, yes you can cross a minefield using a hovercraft. Mines can be triggered by a number of methods including pressure, movement, sound, magnetism, vibration and occasionally tripwires. Some rooting around on the internet indicates that modern military hovercraft create virtually no pressure, acoustic or magnetic signatures. Obviously, anti-personel mines triggered by tripwires are still going to be a problem for the hovercraft, but yeah – DAD got some science right.

Self-induced heart attack

I’m not even going to discuss the crazy non-invasive bioscan the MI6 medical department seems to have going on. What I am worried about is the way Bond consciously decreases his heart rate until it stops, thereby faking a cardiac arrest, and going from the heart stopping to a full blown escape. The heart contains an intrinsic pacemaker – called the sinoatrial node (SAN). If you remove a heart from the body, it continues to beat. The intrinsic heart rate can be modified by the two divisions of the autonomic nervous system – the parasympathetic system slows the heart while the sympathetic nervous system speeds it up. Some people are able to control their heart rates, and it is apparently an ability that can be learned. Some yogis claim to be able to stop their hearts, and although they can substantially alter their heart rates, their ability to stop the heart has been difficult to document under scientific conditions. They appear to accomplish this by contracting muscles in the abdomen in order to prevent blood being returned to the heart. The sounds that the heart makes become muffled, so this does appear to work.

Top panel is an electrocardiogram trace (ECG) of someone stopping their heart beat. The lower panel is the same person with their heart beating normally.

However, I did stumble across this case report of an airplane mechanic who was able to consciously stop his heart for about 5 seconds (see the figure above). The researchers suggested that the changes in the man’s heart were related to a rheumatic fever, damage to one of his heart valves, and his ability to consciously control his autonomic nervous system. This appears to be unique, down to changes in the body rather than a trainable skill. Given the brain’s absolute requirement for oxygen, if someone were to drop their heart rate until the heart stops beating, they’ll very quickly become unconscious. When unconscious, the autonomic nervous system will kick in and your heart will start beating again. Although I do wonder if Bond could go from borderline unconscious to making a rapid escape that quickly.

Excuse me, where’s this diamond from?

The chemical composition shows this is from Sierra Leone

…claims the diamond expert Bond visits, after merely looking at the diamond. Identifying conflict diamonds is difficult; physically, they are indistinguishable by eye from diamonds from elsewhere in the world. By eye, it is possible to identify some impurities. While some of these impurities can tie a diamond to a geographical origin, looking at the samples by eye isn’t good enough to identify conflict (Blood Diamond is a great film about conflict diamonds, much better than this guff, you should totally watch it). Currently, all non-conflict diamonds go through the Kimberly Process Certification Scheme – the idea is that origin of a diamond is documented. Diamonds in the scheme can only originate from countries in the scheme and can only by imported by other countries in the scheme. The idea is that you get a flow of diamonds through countries that do not deal with conflict diamonds. The Kimberly Scheme came into being around the time DAD was made. Global Witness, who were instrumental in combating the trade in conflict diamonds, are now arguing that the Kimberly Process is flawed and that conflict diamonds are coming to market as Kimberly certified diamonds.

Preliminary work has been done in the last year in which lasers vaporize a tiny piece of the diamond. The light fingerprint that this creates can be compared to those of samples from known locations. In a small scale study, the scientists were able to determine a country of origin of a diamond with 95% certainty. It will be a few years before this can be used commercially however.

Yeah, that’s not how gene therapy works. Morons.

When Jinx goes to the sleazy doctor to ask about the gene therapy he explains how it’s done

first we kill off your bone marrow to wipe the slate clean,

Then they introduce new DNA from healthy donors

First question: why kill off the bone marrow? The bone marrow is where your blood cells (which are a major component of the immune system) develop. This is why, in patients with particular blood cancers and immune system disorders, the bone marrow is killed off by radiation or chemotherapy and is replaced by that of a donor. While this may be a required first step in the crazy gene therapy in DAD to prevent the immune system killing off all the new cells with the new DNA, this isn’t how you’d actually do gene therapy.

DNA is present in most of the cells of your body (mature red blood cells do not have a nucleus so these don’t have DNA). DNA is the instruction manual on how to build everything in your body. Half of it comes from your mother and half from your father. DNA can be changed, or mutated, by exposure to radiation or chemicals (generally bad) or by a process called methylation (generally good). Gene therapy is the insertion of a gene to cure a disease. Success has been limited because it is difficult to get the new DNA into the required cells, the effects of the therapy aren’t necessarily long-lasting, and the immune system rejects the new DNA like it would attack a disease. For the crazy Cuban clinic’s ridiculous whole body DNA transplant, you’d have to change the DNA of all the cells of the body. But would you only need to change the DNA of recognisable external features like skin, hair, eyes? Colonel Moon/Graves body shape changes, indicating that his bones must also be changed. There is a question of whether you’d need to perform the transplant on the brain, would this change a persons memories? So would you transform the body one part at a time? If you are wiping out the bone marrow first, this would mean the immune system wouldn’t attack the cells with the new DNA.

Before and After

The most effective method for delivering DNA is by using a virus. Viruses are very good at taking their DNA, shoving it into the cells of other organisms which then make the bits and pieces for new viruses, assembling and releasing them. By replacing the virus DNA with new DNA, a virus can be used to deliver this new DNA to cells in the body. Human cells have 46 chromosomes. It would be hugely problematic to fit this much genetic material into one teeny tiny virus. An adenovirus (one of te virus types used in gene therapy) is 100th the size of human chromosome  (and there are 46 of them to squish in there).  This still leaves us with the problem of DNA delivery.

The dubious clinician goes on to explain that the new DNA from a healthy donor is introduced – it would seem that DNA donation is a terminal procedure, as the doctor states that DNA is taken from “people who won’t be missed”.

Weirdly, this plot point mirrors You Only Live Twice where they try and pretend Sean Connery is Japanese.

If you were going to drugs cheat in fencing, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t use steroids

It is explained that Miranda Frost won Olympic gold after an opponent was found dead after overdosing on steroids.

The dinner party from hell

Fencing is a sport that relies on speed and reaction times. Steroid usage for enhancing sporting performance is usually restricted to sports where strength is required over a brief period of time – normally sprinters, weightlifters and, for some reason, baseball players ( yeah, I don’t care about steroid use in baseball either). It’s actually pretty difficult finding any record on the internet of fencers failing drug tests; generally, the drugs of choice are  stimulants – in theory they keep you alert and focussed, although in practice they may make you shaky. There is some argument as to whether blood doping – a method to improve the oxygen carrying capacity of the blood – would be of benefit in fencing. Fencing isn’t really an endurance sport, fencing matches are usually over in a few minutes. Incidentally, the only failures I’ve been able to find have been for recreation drug usage. The biggest case I’ve come across concerns the italian fencer Andrea Baldini, who failed a test shortly before Beijing, testing positive a diuretic (something that makes you pee more), however, this was later overturned. Diuretics are on the band substances list as they are often used as masking agents in covering up usage of other drugs.

Death from an acute overdose of steroids is also quite unusual, there are a few documented case, but deaths tend to stem from long term steroid usage. Use of steroids over a long time leads to changes in the muscle of the heart which increases the risks of heart attack. Cases of fatal overdoses of steroids are almost unheard of in the scientific literature.

Wait, I think I forgot about something! In a film where the Bad science JUST KEEPS HAPPENING, I forgot about the INVISIBLE CAR!

Invisible car

Back in 2002, buried in the sheer stupid of John Cleese’s Q, DNA transplants and Madonna’s noise – MI6 might have been on to something.

Adaptive camouflage. Tiny cameras on all sides project the image they see on a light emitting polymer skin on the opposite side. So to the casual eye, it’s as good as invisible

Impossible, you ask? Well feat your eyes on this marketing campaign from Mercedes

Mercedes accomplished this stunt by covering the car in LED mats and having cameras on the opposite side, and projecting the images from the cameras on the LEDs. Exactly as Q described with the Vanquish. However, with the Mercedes setup, the car only appears invisible in one dimension. Also, the LED mats, cameras, computing equipment and additional power supply weigh about half a tonne. Probably unfeasible in 2002, however, it makes for an interesting video.

Right, Pierce, done now.

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The Schiensh of Bond: The World is Not Enough

I just saw the new Skyfall trailer, and now I am so blummin excited! But until then, there is BlogalongaBond. In this month’s BlogalongaBond I look at some of the less believable bits of The World is Not Enough, no, not Denise Richards being an Atomic Scientist (or a nuclear physicist, or something) Only slight less credible – The bullet going through Renard’s brain making him superhuman – in TWINE: all this cackwaffle is in your head.

Twenty-six minutes into the film we make the acquaintance of the film’s antagonist – the anarchist Viktor Zorkas AKA Renard. The hot doctor with a moronic name gives us the, ha, medical history. 009 put a bullet in his brain:

…It’s moving through the medulla oblongata killing off his senses: touch, smell; he feels no pain, he can push himself harder and longer than any normal man. The bullet will kill him, but he’ll grow stronger every day until the day he dies.

Dr Molly Warmflash

Firstly, how on earth did a bullet get into Renard’s brain, then get stuck in a way that means it’s slowly travelling through the brain? The bullet presumably got deflected which slowed it down. Also, the bullet has, presumably avoided all major blood vessels. Had any blood vessels been ruptured by the wayward bullet, the resulting haemorrhage or haematoma (small blood clot) would severely impair the oxygen supply to the brain (oxygen supply to brain v.v. important – death occurs in minutes if it is disrupted). Another problem would be swelling of the brain as the damaged parts of the brain start to become inflamed and swell up. The brain has the consistency of set yoghurt or blancmange, so it’s very easy to damage. Swelling of the brain would lead to structures on the outer surface pressing on the inside of the skull getting damaged.

Although it is highly unlikely that the bullet would still be going through Renard’s brain with the same trajectory with which it entered, the migration of a bullet inside the brain following a gunshot wound is not unheard of. Movement of a bullet is influenced by, amongst other things, gravity and the weird pulsing movements of the brain itself. Even given the above, a remarkable number of people survive brain injuries. As it travels through the brain, the bullet will compress tissue, damaging it. This damage also spreads to surrounding tissue, so the injury is not just limited to the brain displaced by the bullet.

I pulled the following list of complications from a paper assessing complications following brain injury

Out of 442 patients

Infection (Local or systemic) 27 (6.1%)
CSF fistula 20 (4.5%)
Hydrocephalus 9 (2%)
Intracranial hematoma 16 (3.6%)
Wound healing problems 8 (1.8%)
Drug reactions 52 (11.7%)
Total (patients with complications) 132 (29.8%)

I coughed my way derisively through Warmflash’s description of Renard’s condition because clearly the good doctor knows nothing about the anatomy of the brain.First off, the bullet is not travelling through the medulla oblongata. The medulla oblongata (often referred to simply as the medulla) is the lower part of the brainstem, it joins the brain to the spinal cord. It is also one of the most crucial parts of the brain as it houses the cardiovascular and respiratory centres. This makes it vital in maintaining blood flow and blood pressure. More importantly, it controls breathing – without the medulla sending messages to the lungs, you would stop breathing.

The following caveat applies to what is written below – I have failed two neuroanatomy exams. But, armed with Jurgan K Mai’s Atlas of the Human Brain and the MRI section of the Allen Brain Atlas, I aim to stomp this into teeny weeny waffly pieces.

I have attempted to extrapolate the route of the bullet through Renard’s brain using screen caps of the film and the Allen Brain Atlas. This has been rather tricky as the trajectory of the bullet is in three dimensions. However:

The bullet enters the skull via the frontal bone. The first part of the brain affected would be the medial orbital gyrus or the obitofrontal gyrus. The orbitofrontal gyrus is part of the prefrontal cortex. This is the part of the brain involved in reasoning and decision making, but are also considered to be involved in reward and reinforcement pathways. So presumably, Renard’s decision making abilities would be impaired. But then, he is an anarchist, so maybe no one noticed. Altered structure of orbitofrontal regions have been identified in numerous psychiatric disorders including schizophrenia, mood disorders and drug addiction.

Once past the frontal lobe, the bullet passes through white matter – these are the cables that join the bits of the brain together. From here, the bullet passes through the putamen and globus palladus – both structures of the basal ganglia. The basal ganglia plays an important role in the regulation of movement. The basal ganglia is the part of the brain that is impaired in patients with Parkinson’s disease, this is seen primarily as a difficulty in initiating movement. Close to the globus pallidus is the nucleus accumbens. The nucleus accumbens appears to also have a role in reward pathways, decisions and emotions.

By my guess, the hippocampus would also be trashed by the bullet. The hippocampus is thepart of the brain that is involved in consolidating short term memories into long term once. One of the best studied cases of this is Henry Molaison who had the hippocampi removed from both sides of his brain. He was studied for years; the key findings were that he was unable to form new memories like that guy from Memento. But he was able to learn new motor skills. The inability to learn anything new is not a particularly useful skill in a super villain.

Until this point, all the damage done by the bullet is on the right side of his brain. As a general rule, the right side of the brain controls muscles and receives touch input from the left side of the body and the left side of the brain controls and receives input from the right side of the body. In a right-handed person, the left side of the brain is often the side of the brain that deals with speech and language, whereas the right side of the brain is more important in things like spatial reasoning and utilises non-verbal cognitive processes (it’s a little hazy when you consider left-handers). It is the woolly intuitive brain, whereas the left side is the subjective, analytical brain. Given Robert Carlyle is right handed, I’m going to assume Renard’s ability to deal with people’s emotions and seeing the big picture are impaired – hence why he needs Electra’s guidance as a supervillain.

So far in TWINE the bullet has only made it as far as the pons. The pons is the uppermost part of the brainstem, all the neurons that carry information to and from the brain to the spinal cord travel in here, so damage can have catastrophic consequences. By this point, the bullet has reached the midline, so it is probably affecting both sides of the body. It also houses important structure that are involved in hearing, balance and taste, in addition to the nerves involved in sensing touch and controlling movement of the face. Crucially, the pons contains the reticular formation – a structure vital to maintaining consciousness – if this is damaged, it will lead to a coma. If the bullet damages any of the nerves that control the arms or legs passing through the pons, Renard would be paralysed. So some of what Dr Warmflash is accurate – if only by accident. He should lose his senses only towards the end as the bullet enters the pons. There seems to be little evidence that Renard will lose the ability to feel pain.

Warmflash’s assertion that Renard’s inability to feel pain mean that he has superhuman strength are somewhat simplistic. M and the doctor tell Bond that because Renard cannot feel pain he has extraordinary strength. This doesn’t make sense. Sustained or intense exercise is limited in humans by a number of factors; the first is muscle fatigue. The nerves that activate the muscle may reach a point where they are not able to fire fast enough, the muscle no longer contracts. There is no pain involvement, so Renard’s muscles will fatigue in the same way as anyone else’s. A second consequence of muscle overuse would be depletion of the stuff that powers the muscle like oxygen, glucose and calcium. In this case, the muscles simply fail to contract and there is no associated pain – thus, Renard’s inability to feel pain would not affect this. The third way in which exercise could affect muscles would be where it causes muscle damage and while this would cause pain, and Renard would be able to push through what would unbearable pain. However, pain is important for us in preventing or limiting us damaging our bodies. Renard’s injuries would likely go untreated and they would get worse. He would be prone to infections in the injured areas.

There are genetic conditions which result in people not being able to feel pain. Patients have, in general, normal touch sensation (except temperature). Rather than making people stronger, congenital pain insensitivity increases the risk of infection as wounds go unnoticed. Here is an interesting account of a girl unable to feel pain. Other problems associated with inability to feel pain include not being able to feel when there is damage to the eye. As a consequence, eye infections become common, and eyesight can be permanently impaired.

And now I’ve lost all my readers just in time for Die Another Day, which is just as well because the utter bollocks in that are going to drive me nuts.

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The Schiensh of Bond: Tomorrow Never Dies

As we scamper excitedly through the Brosnans, BlogalongaBond continues with Tomorrow Never Dies in a post subtitled You Sunk My Battleship.

We’re back to MacGuffins of the magic science variety. In Elliot Carver’s dastardly plan to TAKE OVER THE WORLD, he has acquired a GPS encoder. A magic sciencey thing. What does it do? Well according to the expired occupants of a British frigate or a Chinese fighter jet – it fucks with GPS so that the HMS Devonshire thinks it’s in international waters while it has actually drifted into Chinese waters. So how does it work? What is GPS?

Well, GPS stands for Global Positioning System. It makes it possible for me to wander around the streets of London holding out a map with a moving blue dot that says “you are here”.

Development of GPS

The rather wonderful description of its serendipitous invention can be found here at TED

Shortened version here:

Left to right – William Guier, Frank McClure and George Weiffenbach

A couple of nerds at Johns Hopkins Applied Physics Laboratory called physicists, William Guier and George Weiffenbach wondered idly over lunch time if they could listen to the newly launched Russian satellite Sputnik. George happened to have a microwave receiver in his office. They start picking up Sputnik’s signal, making a note of the times and dates the signal appears. The two enthusiastic geeks notice variations in the frequency of the signal – a result of the Doppler effect. The Doppler effect is a well understood phenomenon – it’s why the sound of an ambulance siren gets higher pitched as it gets closer to you and gets deeper when it moves away – so it was possible for Guier and Weiffenbach to calculate Sputnik’s speed and location. With the help of a super computer, they plotted out Sputnik’s entire trajectory. When they published it, they scared the crap out of the Russians who didn’t believe the American’s had the computing power to work such a thing out.

Their boss at the APL, Frank McClure, came to Guier and Weiffenbach, “you’ve got the system to find an object in orbit from a known location, we’ve got these submarines with their missiles pointing at Moscow – can we find them if we stick up some satellites?”

Ivan Getting, Bradford Parkinson and Roger L Easton were credited for developing GPS for the US Navy in 1960 and it was made available for civilian use in 1989. And now I can open up google maps and can tell you where I am. If I stick my phone out of the window.  GPS requires line of sight from satellites (which is why you have to put your satnav in your windscreen rather than in the middle of your car). Guier’s account is over here.

How does GPS work?

According to Wikipedia

The Global Positioning System (GPS) is a space-based satellite navigation system that provides location and time information in all weather, anywhere on or near the Earth, where there is an unobstructed line of sight to four or more GPS satellites. It is maintained by the United States government and is freely accessible to anyone with a GPS receiver.

Normally, about four satellites of known location are required to accurately calculate the location of a GPS device on the surface of the Earth. They each send out a signal. These signals are precisely, and contain the time the signal was sent and the position of the satellite at the time the signal was sent. The GPS receiver determines its location by calculating the transit time of the signal and working out its distance from each satellite. It uses some mathematical trickery called trilateration to calculated location. Pretty clever stuff!

How does the GPS encoder work?

Techno-terrorist Gupta has acquired this magic box which Carver uses to convince the HMS Devonshire it’s in a different place. It uses a method known as meaconing – which Wikipedia describes as:

…the interception and rebroadcast of navigation signals

The signals would have to be rebroadcast on the same frequency as they are originally broadcast in order to produced the required interference. To work, the meaconing device (in this case, the Encoder) needs to be placed between the satellites and the receiver so that is can receive and resend the ship’s signal. Which seems simple enough, but all the encoder action seems to happen on the Stealth Boat… :-/

I’ll just be concerned when the Leveson enquiry digs up Rupert Murdoch’s stealth boat…

Not Rupert Murdoch

I rather enjoyed Tomorrow Never Dies, so rest assured, Schiensh will return in July for The World is Not Enough.

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The Schiensh of Bond: GoldenEye

It’s 1995 and James Bond enters the modern, post-cold war era with a bang, in Martin Campbell’s derivative, but oddly effective, GoldenEye, as we enter the first (and best) of the Brosnans in BlogalongaBond, subtitled …And Sean Bean.

Aside from a plot that bounces along marvellously, there is some properly intersting science in GoldenEye –  no, it’s not whether Xenia Onatop can crush men’s ribs with her thighs – it’s all about that crazy-ass space laser.

But it’s not actually a laser. It’s some sort of EMP generator. What is an EMP, you ask? Well, sit back, grab a cup of tea and 10 rolls of tin foil and I shall explain.

The EMP or Electromagnetic pulse was theorised back in the 1940s when the Americans were performing nuclear tests. Enrico Fermi had insisted on shielding electronics during nuclear testing, as he had theorised that disruption in electromagnetic fields would occur and would majorly fuck shit up. Often, EMPs are encountered in film as a byproduct of nuclear explosions (see John Woo’s Broken Arrow) although non-nuclear forms of EMP generator also exist in the fantasy world of the movies (see Steven Soderbergh’s Ocean’s Eleven).

The example given by M in GoldenEye is a high energy explosion caused by a nuclear device in the upper atmosphere (say 40-400 km above the Earth’s service). This is known as a High-Altitude Electromagnetic Puls (HEMP). While potentially non-nuclear EMP generators exist – governments are pretty hazy on their existence.

A nuclear EMP consists of 3 phases; E1, E2 and E3.

E1 is a very brief intense electromagnetic field generated when gamma rays from the nuclear device knock electrons off atoms in the upper atmosphere. These electrons travel down towards the Earth’s surface. When they pass through the Earth’s magnetic field, the E1 electromagnetic field is generated over a wide area. Here’s some info from How Stuff Works. The problem with this electrical field is that it can rapidly induce very high voltages in conductive materials. Notably, silicon transistors. This fries unprotected computers and communications equipment.

E2 occurs when the neutrons released by the weapon generate scattered gamma rays. This is similar to the EMPs generated by lightening strikes. The major problem is that this can screw up equipment left unprotected following E1.

E3 is akin to an electromagnetic storm – it’s caused by the nuclear detonation moving the Earth’s magnetic field and by the magnetic field reasserting itself. The problem with it is that, like all magnetic fields, it is able to generate currents in long electrical conductors (eg wires). These currents induced in, for example, power cables can lead to damage in transformers which form the infrastructure of the power grid.

Those crazy paranoid Americans came up with the EMP Commission to assess the risks of an EMP, you can see their report here. Among other things, they note the vulnerability of the computer-reliant finance system – curiously, the same plan Trevelyan has for the UK finance system. One does worry that US policy re. crazy Sci-Fi weapons derives entirely from films. What is not really explained in the film is how the GoldenEye generates the EMP, it’s not explained whether it is a nuclear powered device (one assumes not) – I’m not sure the space laser setup they’ve got going would actually work.

How would one prevent damage from an EMP? Well, contrary to what some films have suggested (Spielberg’s War of the Worlds,  I’m looking at you) it makes no difference if the electrical device is switched off. Enter Xenia Onatop and her outrageous ‘copter thievery. Onatop steals the Eurocopter Tiger helicopter. Amongst other things, the Tiger is resistent to damage caused by EMPs. This (though an unbelievable flow of logic) leads MI6 to conclude that the Russians actually have an EMP generating space weapon. What is utterly brilliant about the Eurocopter Tiger helicopter is that it actually exists – take a look at the Eurocopter website. What is even more impressive is that the helicopter actually is resistent to damage from EMPs – according to the literature (well, google) the Tiger is protected from the effects of an EMP by a copper/bronze grid and copper bonding foil. This forms a Faraday cage, which encompasses the electronics in the aircraft, thereby protecting them from the effects of environmental fluctuations in electromagnetic fields.

What is a Faraday cage? A Faraday cage is a box or enclosure made of a conductive material. The sides can be solid or made of mesh. The outer conducting materials protect the interior from electrical and, to a larger extent, electromagnetic signals (although it is ineffective at shielding static or slowly moving magnetic fields). Charge collects on the outside of the cage. If the cage is grounded, charge leaves the outside of the cage and goes to ground. From personal experience I can tell you that Faraday cages are good against mobile phone signas and BBC radio waves….

Take a look over here for some pretty impressive examples of how a Faraday cage can protect one from electricity.

I rather enjoyed that – some pretty cool science. I look forward to what the rest of the Bron Hom era has in store for Schiensh. Find out next month when I attempt to watch the thoroughly unmemorable Tomorrow Never Dies.

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The Schiensh of Bond: Licence to Kill

In the latest installment of The Incredible Suit’s monthly exercise in self-harm, Bond – like so many spies before him – Goes Rogue. Here at Schiensh, we try to find some Schiensh in Licence to Kill in a post subtitled Revenge is a dish best served dissolved in petrol and covered in shark.

He disagreed with something that ate him

When Felix Leiter is partially fed to a shark, Bond goes out to seek revenge. Revenge by feeding someone else to a shark. Overall, unprovoked shark attacks and fatalities from shark attacks are pretty low. There are some lovely squishy statistics over here. As an example, worldwide between 2000 and 2011 there were 807 recorded shark attacks worldwide, of which 66 were fatal. The shark that people keep getting fed to is identified by Bond as being a Great White Shark. The Great White is a notorious maneater, thanks –  in part – to post-Jaws paranoia. Film depictions of Great whites are somewhat unfair; as apex predators they are used to being able to eat pretty much anything. But some divers have successfully filmed Great Whites and not suffered attacks. Filmmakers Ron and Valerie Taylor, diver/photographer George Askew, and Piet van der Walt found that the sharks tend to be scared of the divers, even though they had been exposed to blood and exposed flesh. Great Whites mostly bite people out of nosiness. They don’t actively seek out human (unlike the evil revenge-mad shark from the Jaws movies). “Sharks don’t eat humans,” says shark expert Peter Kimley of the University of California, “They spit out humans. Humans aren’t nutritious enough to be worth the effort.” However, there doesn’t seem to be much scientific consensus on what actually causes a shark to attack. If there is food about, the shark is probably going to try and eat whatever is put in front of it like Leiter or Killifer. Although blood doesn’t necessarily cause the legendary feeding frenzies that the films have us believe.

What we do know about sharks is that they have colour vision, have a really good sense of smell, taste and exceptionally good hearing. More interesting though is there ability to sense electric fields. They have a special sense organ. All animals possess electric fields in the form of muscle contractions and heart beats, although this is only useful over very short distances (this totes refers back to my day job 🙂 ) In addition they have an exquisitely sensitive sense of touch and pressure sensors. This information is from the fabulous Shark Foundation website. Go there, they know LOTS.

Shocking encounter with an electric eel

Some hapless henchman get electrocuted to death by an electric eel sitting around in a tank. The electric eel isn’t actually an eel at all, it is actually a species of knifefish. Amongst all the crazy facts, they are air breathers. As to whether an eel can kill anyone, the answer is yes. Using their electrical organs, the eel can generate 600 volts of electricity and 1 amp of current, which is sufficient to kill a human.

The eels produce electricity using electrocysts located at two sites: Hunter’s organ and Sach’s organ. These electrocysts are a lot like batteries. The eel can control the intensity of the shock.

Death by explosive decompression

When Sanchez find the money planted by Bond in the hyperbaric chamber , he throws Krest – whom he suspects of treachery – into the hyperbaric chamber. First, Sanchez turns up the air pressure, and then forces it to drop rapidly by having one of his heavies break one of the tubes, letting the air escape. As a result, Krest’s head explodes.

Would Krest’s head have really exploded? Well, the most similar real life incident was on board the Byford Dolphin. There was a repid decompression from nine atmospheres to one in less than a second. Here’s how wikipedia describes it

Diver D3 was shot out through the small jammed hatch door opening and was torn to pieces. Subsequent investigation by forensic pathologists determined D4, being exposed to the highest pressure gradient, violently exploded due to the rapid and massive expansion of internal gases. All of his thoracic and abdominalorgans, and even his thoracic spine were ejected, as were all of his limbs. Simultaneously, his remains were expelled through the narrow trunk opening left by the jammed chamber door, less than 60 centimetres (24 in) in diameter. Fragments of his body were found scattered about the rig. One part was even found lying on the rig’s derrick, 10 metres (30 ft) directly above the chambers. His death was most likely instantaneous and painless.

Not in any way pleasant.

Cocaine smuggling.

Sanchez plan for distributing cocaine involves dissolving it in petrol (gasoline), transporting it, and then having the recipient reconstitute the cocaine. I very carefully watched it to see if I could figure out what was going on with the cocaine, given how bad my knowledge of chemistry is. Is this possible and would it work.

On the internet, I stumbled across a method for extracting and cocaine from coco leaves. It just so happens that petrol is used as one of the agents to extract the cocaine from the leaves. Cocaine is insoluble in water (its hydrochloride salt however is soluble in water). Adding baking soda to this solution makes a putty, not unlike the putty we see in the laboratory in the film. This putty is mixed with hydrochloric acid in order to make the salt – addition of ammonia precipitates out the cocaine hydrochloride salt – so this method could actually work.

Licence to Kill has been a bizarre viewing experience – it being one of the more scientifically accurate Bond films.

Let’s see if it lasts when we continue. The Schiensh of Bond continues next month in GoldenEye.

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The Schiensh of Bond: The Living Daylights

Finally, BlogalongaBond has at last seen the end of Roger Moore. And we welcome our new Daltonian overlord. This month, again, I struggled to find the science in Bond, and failed. I did however get distracted by the companion accompanying James and Kara around their foreign climes: Kara’s unnamed Stradivarius cello.


Interestingly, Ian Fleming’s half-sister, Amaryllis, was named in her
Obituary as one of Britain’s foremost cellists owned a Stradivarius cello that now bears her name. The part of The Living Daylights pertaining to the Stradivarius cello is based on the Fleming story of the same name.

Antonio Stradivari – what’s in a name?

Stradivari was a Cremonese luthier during the 17th and 18th centuries, known more for his violins, although he did make violas, cellos and guitars. He was one of the earliest luthiers to make cellos as we now know them

Stradivari’s instruments, along with those of other contemporaneous luthiers from northern Italy, are highly sought after by players, and are venerated for their apparently superior tone. Given the age and value of Kara’s cello, I winced at Bond and Milovy dragging it across the snow, and even more when it got a bullet hole through it.

Cellos – how do they work?

Like all stringed instruments, when a string is bowed or plucked, the vibration of the string causes a sound, but because the string – and the vibration – is so small, it isn’t very loud. This quiet vibration is transferred to the body of the instrument, which, because it is larger, moves more air when it vibrates (and sound is just vibration in air), therefore the sound is louder. The pitch of a note can be altered by the characteristics of the string: its stiffness and it’s length. Changes in the density of the wood in the body of the instrument change the way it vibrates and produces sound. Things like bullet holes are not going to make your cello sound good. And anyone who owns wooden instruments will know that you’re not supposed to let it get too hot, too cold, too dry or too damp, as the wood is prone to cracking.

What makes a Stradivarius so special?

The Stradivari name is legendary in music circles – the fact that many of Antonio Stradivari’s instruments that survive are still playable. Because of their age and prestige, they are worth millions – the Lady Blunt recently sold at auction for £9.8 million.


Some theories have been put forward to explain their apparent superiority. Stoel and Borman theorised that the growing conditions for the trees used to make cellos and violin in 18th century Cremona that resulted in different densities of wood. Using x-ray scanning of old violins and violas and comparing them to new instruments found no differences in the median densities of the wood, however there was a much smaller variation in the individual old Cremonese instruments (including some Stradivari instruments). Whether this is what causes the distinctive sound properties of old violins remains to be seen.

Nagyvary et al suggested that treatment of the wood is responsible for the superior sound of Stradivarius instruments – they examined the chemical composition of several instruments that had been repaired and found that chemical composition of Stradivarius instruments differed significantly from both other old instruments and new instruments. As the sample size was quite small, the results are difficult to draw actual conclusions from.

The entire case is completely moot though given that, under most cases of blind testing – where either the listener was blinded to whether they were listening to a Strad – or double blind test – where both the player and the listener are unaware of the identity of the instrument – listeners are unable to tell the difference. In additional tests where expert violin players were asked to play a selection of new and old instruments, there was no overall preference for old Strads over new, very well made instruments.

I’m currently on holiday in Europe, and last week I actually saw a full Stradivarius quartet in the Royal Palace in Madrid. Infuriatingly, they will not allow you to take photos inside the palace, so this is from Merriam-Webster.


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The Schiensh of Bond: A View to a Kill

This month in BlogalongaBond, under the leadership of The Incredible Suit, we say goodbye to someone who has been a constant throughout the last half year. This individual hasn’t been much loved by many of the BlogalongaBondoliers, I have been especially vocal in my distain, but it would seem he is to leave us. That’s right, in A View to a Kill Roger Moore’s mole is absent. Whether the removal was for aesthetic reasons, concerns about skin cancer or the result of a Circus Mole Hunt led by Le Carre’s finest – the Moore is now moleless.

Which is how we will begin with A View to a Kill – Wrong, wrong, wrong, on so many levels.

I’m not quite sure how they managed to get from cheating racehorses to earthquakes via microchips. However…

My Lovely Horse

Bond and Tibbett go to Ascot in order to investigate why Zorin’s horses are running so fast. After some ill-advised laboratory exploration, they discover that Zorin is having microchips implanted into the horses. These microchips are used to dose the horses with “horse steroids” during races and can be activated remotely, potentially by the jockey. This, Bond states, overcomes fatigue in the horse.

However, the rationale here is flawed. Normally, training (whether equine or human) depending on the type of training, results in increased muscle mass. The individual muscle cells get bigger because the amount of protein they contain increases. Using anabolic steroids (like what the cheating athletes do) increases the size of muscles even more than training alone. Steroids do this by increasing protein synthesis and by inhibiting muscle breakdown by the hormone cortisol, this results in stronger muscle which is more resistant to fatigue. You can see why this would be beneficial for a racehorse. Curiously, although it’s been illegal to use steroids in racehorses in the UK, their use was only banned in the US in 2009.

So far so shiny. Steroids act by changing protein synthesis. Protein synthesis isn’t the instantaneous process one would require when desperately tired during a race. It would involve a lot  of protein synthesis, something that would take hours to days. Therefore, injections of steroids during a race is not the most appropriate way of cheating. You should either give Dobbin steroids during training, this would actually increase muscle mass and reduce muscle fatigue or give a proper stimulant during the race making him faster in the short term. On the plus side for Zorin, really good tests for horse steroids weren’t available in 1985, so cheat away!

Earth Movers

Zorin wants a microchip monopoly,  but those pesky clever clogs over in silicon valley are too good at doing their job. Zorin’s plan is to flood the Hayward and San Andreas faults by blowing up some lakes. The water in the faults then supposedly causes earthquakes, which, according to our young attractive geologist Stacey Sutton, will flood silicon valley, wiping out Zorin’s competition.

Hang on a minute, would that actually work? And what is a “Geological Lock”? Google was unable to find any references outside of A View to a Kill and the tinfoil hatwearers’ society. You get similar results if you ask your preferred search engine if you can cause an earthquake by flooding geological faults.

First off, a geological fault is a gap formed by the meeting of 2 or more tectonic plates. In the context of geology, earthquakes are caused by adjacent plates moving past each other, making epic crunching noises. I can find no references to flooding faults causing earthquakes, and also bear in mind that some geological faults are underwater. For instance, sections of the San Andreas fault are under water.  However, there are numerous ways in which humans can cause earthquakes. There is quite a nice description here. Wired pretty much ruled out using nuclear bombs along fault lines causing earthquakes – this is Lex Luthor tries to do in Superman.

The two most relevant activities by which humans can cause earthquakes are building dams and by injecting liquid into the ground.

There are some suggestions that the building of the Three Gorges Dam in Sichuan in China precipitated or exacerbated the 2008 earthquake in the area, although this is disputed. The idea being that a massive amount of water increases the stress in the rocks beneath it. This stress can cause fluctuations in seismic readings and potentially cause earthquakes if they are near a fault.

The US Army were  injecting fluid into the ground as a disposal method of waste material. However, they ceased when apparent seismic activity of the the surrounding area increased . Their conclusions are rather interesting:

…as fluid pressure increases, the apparent strength of the fault decreases… as a result, the potential for induced earthquakes also increases

Nicholson and Wesson, 1987

However, this is different from Zorin’s explosives driven fault-flooding method. The water would flow into the fault in an undirected manner so the water pressure is unlikely to be great enough to stress the rocks around the fault. The method here seems very flawed, if he had done his research, he’d be injecting liquid into the ground.

And so endeth Roger Moore. I’m looking forward to Timothy Dalton…


The Schiensh of Bond: Octopussy

A Bond film a month until Skyfall next October. BlogalongaBond. I continue through the Roger Moores like wading through so much treacle. I was enjoying Octopussy until all that mucking about on the circus train, then I got bored. And while I was musing on potentially perverse definitions of the word “octopussy” I realised that, in fact, the octopus is the most interesting thing about this film. Incidentally, I was not brave enough to put “octopussy” into google without the SafeSearch on.

What’s in a name?

My first stumbling block in Octopussy is the pluralisation of octopus: octopuses or octopi. Well, the origin of the name “octopus” stems from the greek for eight footed. Okto- : eight, pous-: feet. The use of the suffix -us is common in latin and the standard pluralisation of latin words ending in -us is to replace it with -i. Hence cactus -> cacti. There are common exceptions, for example the commonly used plural of campus is campuses, rather than campi. Octopus however has its etymological origins in greek rather than latin, so many object to the pluralisation octopi on these grounds.

There are three plural forms of octopusoctopuses [ˈɒktəpəsɪz], octopi [ˈɒktəpaɪ], and octopodes [ˌɒkˈtəʊpədiːz]. Currently, octopuses is the most common form in the UK as well as the US; octopodes is rare, and octopi is often objectionable.


Many sources agree that while “octopodes” is technically correct, it is pedantic and there is the general impression that the sort of people using the word “octopodes” don’t get out enough. Furthermore, although many argue that octopus is a greek word, some bright spark has pointed out that octopus is actually a latinised-greek word. The word octopus wasn’t used to refer to the animal it describes until 1758, long after the Greeks and Romans were conjugating language.

Therefore, octopuses is generally accepted.

It does, however, bring the following exchange to mind.


Octopuses are cephalopod molluscs with no form of skeleton (like other molluscs) so they are able to squeeze through very small gaps. When it comes to dealing with predators, they have numerous defence mechanisms: they produce ink, have the ability to change colour and they are venomous.

Their physiology is, frankly, bizarre by our standards – an octopus has 3 hearts. Two brachial hearts pump blood through the gills and the third pumps blood around the body.

I have borrowed this pictograph to show you the inner workings of an octopus:

The blood contains coppers rather than iron to carry oxygen around the body. Also, the haemocyanin protein that carries the oxygen is dissolved in the blood rather than being contained within red blood cells as is in mammals. This give their blood a bluish colour.

The blue-ringed octopuses – as featured in Octopussy – are a group of 3 (possibly 4) species of octopus. They are quite small in size and they have numerous chromophores in their skin which are normally brown to aid camouflage. If the octopus is threatened, these patches turn blue. Octopuses produce ink which is contained in their ink sacs (located just below their gills), the ink contains the pigment melanin and mucous and is squirted out with the help of a jet of water from the funnel. In the blue-ringed octopus species, the ink sac has shrunk during evolution. Young blue-ringed octopuses can still effectively squirt ink, however the adults of two of the species do not produce ink at all, a third species can but is pretty crap at it.

Toxic bite

Blue-ringed octopuses are the only group of octopus with venom that can kill humans. The list of chemicals in the venom are:  tetrodotoxin, 5-hydroxytripamine, hyaluronidase, tyramine, histamine, tryptamine, taurine, acetylcholine and dopamine. The most important of these is tetrodotoxin, known to a bunch of lazy pharmacologists and neuroscientists as TTX. TTX is the same toxin found in pufferfish and is around 100 times more toxic than cyanide. It’s produced by bacteria that live in the octopus’ salivary glands. TTX blocks nerve transmission, so once someone is bitten, paralysis ensues. The patient is unable to breathe, so unless they are ventilated they will quickly die. Treatment is by artificial ventilation; the body is able to break down the toxin so after about 24 hours of ventilation, the patient will most likely make a full recovery.

A clever little bastard

Experiments have shown that octopuses are highly intelligent, far more so than other invertebrates. They are adept problem-solvers, showing both short- and long-term memory, although they learn next-to-nothing from their parents as they have little or no contact. In science laboratories, octopuses have show fear directed a specific individuals. This gives them the same level of protection under the law as vertebrates with respect to scientific experiments.

Their intelligence makes them problematic as pets as they have a tendency to escape from aquariums.

I wouldn’t want to encounter one of these guys on the run…

Barring encounters with poisonous octopodes, Schiensh will return for Roger Moore’s penultimate outing as Bond in A View to a Kill.

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